This last week I had a phone call to check in with my homeschool ES. We were supposed to go over my plan for the semester, questions about subjects and budget items. She’s called and left a few messages but I didn’t call her back until my kids were away from me.

I didn’t want them to hear the conversation.

I told her I wanted to quit. I’m overwhelmed and feel like I’m failing. There’s so much happening in other areas of life that I feel I am unable to give their schooling the attention it deserves.

I was in tears.

I was fully expecting her response to be helpful but methodical. I expected some tips or some advice on how to either get through it or the process of how to un-enroll…but I didn’t get any of that. To my shock, she just stayed silent for a second…and then I realized she too was crying.

She then opened up and shared some of the sweetest encouragement I never would have anticipated. She said that as she’s watched our family interact and the non-traditional ways we’ve taught them and how the kids respond to her during our meetings that she has often wished she would have done similar things with her own children.

She said that I might be discouraged that the kids aren’t getting enough “school” in, but that the richer lessons of life, love, beauty, oneness, listening, faith/family values are absolutely being learned. She said that of all the families she’s helped through the years ours is one that has impacted her the most and if there was ever a family she didn’t want to stop homeschooling it would be ours.

Whoa, right?! I sure didn’t see it that way….

I was sitting there thinking of all the ways I’m getting it wrong, all of the subjects we had left to get to that day, and the 13 fights I just broke up that morning.

So, of course….at that point I’m sobbing on the other end. Just floored and blown away. Here I was thinking I’m ruining my kids and without even knowing our story she points me back to the reasons we decided to homeschool in the first place.

It’s not that we didn’t love parts of public school too, there is so much good there as well. But I found that I had less and less time to focus on these kinds of weightier issues I wanted to teach the kids since we were rushing everywhere so much. No, maybe we aren’t caught up in spelling and maybe we are a few lessons behind in math…but if I can teach my kids about responsibility, conflict resolution, Truth, patience, forgiveness, serving others, determination, receiving and extending grace and that they are loved, and show them how to love others then I can’t consider it a total failure.

Friends, maybe you’re like me and you don’t see what’s happening under the surface. Maybe you’re working so hard but are feeling like you’re spinning your wheels, the results aren’t coming and you are tempted to give up.

If that’s you I would want you to know this…just because things are difficult, and just because you find yourself having to teach/instruct the same thing over and over again…just because you can’t see results yet doesn’t mean good isn’t happening.

That good might be in you as you press on and endure…or it might be in others as you continue to pour your life out…(maybe it’s both?!)….but either way I would want you to be encouraged to keep valuing the richer parts of life…not the errands, the spelling lists, or the house chores…but the people.

Look up sweet friends….who can you encourage today?!  Who is it that needs your kindness? Who can you reach out to? Maybe it’s your friend…maybe it’s your neighbor…or maybe it’s that kiddo that’s been driving you crazy lately….who can you love today? What ‘weightier issues’ can you invest in today?

You May Also Like

3 comments

Reply

Oh Meg, I just met your sweet lil’ Kate after you spoke at SBC yesterday morning…..and she is one beautiful child. We spoke about MathUSee, what a great job she did supporting you up there, and what a great mama you are to be sharing with all us other moms and mentors. Having finished homeschooling two and seeing the young adults they’ve become, please know that homeschooling that sweet lil Kate today will all be worth it. I can’t wait to see how your precious girl blossoms and blesses others for you having poured into her on a daily basis the way you are. Everyday I read your posts from now on, this veteran homeschool mama will say a prayer for you to not grow weary. Blessings!

Reply

Thanks so much for sharing! I just found your blog, and I was homeschooled until 10th grade. I have a son turning three and all my mom friends have started asking me when and where he will be going to preschool. I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to home school him, but it’s daunting. But the reasons my mom homeschooled me are the reasons I want to home school him. I’m not ready for the world to influence him 3-6 hours a day yet, I want those hours to pour into his life. Your post was a great reminder that home schooling is more than academics!

Reply

Gosh I hear you about it being daunting. But I do believe that if you feel that is best for your family the Lord will give you the strength and resolve to do it. Some days I absolutely question that and I find myself daydreaming about putting them back in school just to get a break! But so far that feeling hasn’t lasted much longer than the moments I feel overwhelmed. Some advice early on that we received and that I really appreciated was to take it one year at a time. Homeschooling may be what’s best for one year and the next it may not. Praying through it and asking the Lord for wisdom each year will help you not get bogged down with thinking one decision will be what you choose for the rest of his life. Thanks so much for sharing your story, I’ll be praying with you that by the time you have to decide you’ll feel confident in whatever choice you make.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *