To the mamas:

Mother’s Day. It’s just around the corner. Mother’s Day is a good day. A day of honor for women everywhere who are in the trenches of raising little humans.

For me, in recent years Mother’s Day has become a day of pretty dresses, smiles, homemade kid gifts, and take out so I don’t have to cook. But it wasn’t always this way.

It used to be a day of pain…because there wasn’t someone to hold and I wasn’t yet a mother. I remember vividly standing in church, surrounded by women with new infants in every seat near me, weeping bitter tears as I longed for children I was told I’d never have. This day can be such a painful one for women struggling with infertility. But it can also be tough on those of us that do have kids too…

Mother’s Day can come with so many emotions. It’s a time when we are told we are “the best mom in the whole wide world,” yet our hearts can scream at us and tell us otherwise. I know for me personally so many of the days during the rest of the year I feel like I’m just not quite “there” yet. Life can get busy and things can slip through the cracks. I can so easily get off track or lose sight of what is most important. I can often get to the end of our days having worked hard for all of my waking hours, get into bed and only think of what didn’t get done. I can sometimes question whether or not I am doing the right thing or are focusing on the best things…and the doubt that can creep in can sometimes make me wonder if I’m doing a good job at this…and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one…

So, I wanted to take some time today to encourage. To write to my mom friends who have shared some of there most intimate thoughts and struggles on motherhood with me. Sometimes it’s difficult to gain the courage to say something that you know is uplifting or encouraging to another because somehow we find it a little embarrassing or a little “out there.” We can fear what people will think of us…that we’re weird or something for getting a bit sappy. But I don’t want to let those thoughts get in the way. In reality, words that are encouraging will only bring life to both yourself and the person you’re speaking to.

Sometimes I kinda think people just already know how or what I think of them. Yet I am learning more and more that they don’t. It’s so important to actually voice what it is we are thinking because words have power. They have the power to completely destroy or to entirely build up. I don’t want to let those moments pass and let an opportunity go by where I think something positive about someone and don’t say anything.

In this post I am writing about specific moms that I personally know. Real moms. Real friends. Real people. Moms who aren’t perfect, and have never claimed to be, but who give it their all each and every day. I know they can, at times, feel beat up and wonder like me if they’re doing a good job. I think that the mind games is one of the most challenging parts of mom life.

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To my friend down the street who has recently gone through a divorce, feels the pain every moment of every day and often cries herself to sleep at night…yet somehow manages to hold it together, having had to find a job, yet still finds every way to give her kids the best opportunities possible. I see you trying so stinkin’ hard to do well in all areas of life…and I want you to know that I truly believe…

You are doing a great job.

To my friend whose husband has been in school for the past 4 years and has worked ever so diligently to play both parent roles while supporting him and raising your kids in a city where you know no one…and still finds a way to put a smile on everyone’s face around her, using every breath to speak life and joy into your children as well as your friends.

You are doing a great job.

To my friend who feels your husband is emotionally a thousand miles away but who doesn’t want to settle and refuses to give up. I see your heart breaking for your family and I see your genuine desire to walk by faith raising your kids to honor Jesus despite the challenging marital circumstances. I know you feel desperate at times, and I know you often wonder if there’s any hope…but I see you as a fighter in all the good ways and I also want you to know this…

You are doing a great job.

To my friend who just had her third baby, is struggling with post-partum depression, yet you push through how you “feel” to love those around you every single day. You are constantly asking and seeking out a better way, challenging yourself to not stay where you’re at and keeping alive that eagerness to always be growing. You handle life well, because I see you worrying about all of the right things, but I know you feel overwhelmed, exhausted and never enough. You need to know this…

You are doing a great job.

To my friend who has 10 kids, some with severe medical issues, who often spends more time in doctors’ offices than you do your own bed. You have taken on a business to help even more people and have a massive heart to love and serve everyone you could ever come in contact with. I am confident more often than not you feel spread thin, yet I don’t know that for certain because not one word of complaining comes out of your mouth. I want you to know I see you, and I am so encouraged by your life. And I truly believe even on your worst day that…

You are doing a great job.

To the mom who just married off her first child and feels joy and sadness simultaneously…having completed the job of motherhood, but is not entirely ready to let go. I see your broken smile as you let go of your first “baby” and I see your dignity and strength as you try to hold it together while loosening up your grip on that son you’ve loved so well. I’m encouraged by your grace and strength as I imagine with a pit in my stomach one day having to be where you are and I want you to know…

You’re doing a great job.

To the mom who is trying so desperately trying to breastfeed after feeling that nursing with your first baby went terribly wrong. I see you as a woman who is strong and is willing to fight through pumping, soreness, exhaustion, confusion and mom guilt…yet still choose to smile and press on despite the voices all around telling you every which way you should go. You ask for help not because you’re weak but because you’re strong. You want what is best and I see you doing all you can to seek that out, even if that means humbling yourself and admitting when you don’t have the answers. You’re finding your voice and growing in strength and I say to you today…

You are doing a great job.

To my friend who feels never enough, b-class, never put together, always frazzled. Your kids sometimes are missing a shoe, or two, and life is crazy…and I see you sometimes try to make excuses for it or apologize for the nuttiness. Yet you need to know that having as many kids as you do is so stinkin’ hard and that I truly believe the REAL reason you feel undone is because you love. so. well. I see how you exhaust yourself for your family, some days without ever once looking in the mirror and I see your unwashed face as radiantly beautiful because what truly shines through is your selflessness. To you I say…

You are doing a great job.

To my full-time working mom friend who is amazingly great at sales and brings in an income big enough to not only relieve a ton of financial stress for your family but also finds ways to give so freely to others. I see you struggling with mom guilt not being able to be at home every moment of every second with your babies like every other “stay-at-home mom”…and you need to know this…

You are doing a great job.

To my friend who just had her 6th baby and is utterly exhausted and knows there is no way to be able to handle homeschooling five others and a brand new infant. I see your desire to soak up and cherish every single moment of these sleep deprived fleeting infancy days…and although doubts creep in of not being enough to handle it all I want you to know…

You’re doing a great job.

To my friend who IS a mom, at heart, and has been for 2 years now, but has not yet experienced the joy of her own children…who longs for a baby of her own more than life itself and through heartbroken, painful tears begs to see that test turn positive. My heart could literally crack in half at the pain and sorrow I know is yours, but please know that although there are days you want to punch a wall and days you feel are dark and hopeless, what I see is a woman who is strong and steadfast, one who at the end of the day says, “but I will praise Him” and one to whom I want to say…

You are doing a great job.

To my friend who feels that her kids are constantly disobedient and is having to spend 90% of her day trying to sort through issues of behavior or conflict. You are exhausting yourself for all of the right reasons and at times it is easy to grow weary. What you plant will have a harvest. Please don’t give up. And I want you to know that, although your road is hard…

You are doing a great job.

To my friend whose husband is in ministry and you now have three kids and you’re not sure where money is going to come from to care for your family…yet you stay strong, are a constant encouragement to your family and you never waver in staying upbeat and hopeful yet I know it weighs so heavily on your heart. Please know I see you, and am encouraged by your joy and…

You are doing a great job.

To all of the mamas who have not yet had a shower today, who brave crowded stores with all the littles to grocery shop to prepare food for your families, who fold laundry into the wee hours of the morning and who roam through Target aimlessly to take a breather…To the mamas who have poop on their pants and spit up on their shoulders and who haven’t made their beds in over a week. To the mamas who bathe all of the kids while longing and wishing for a quiet bath for herself. To the mama that just glanced at the clock hoping for bedtimes to hurry up and get here because you’re afraid you’re gonna explode. To the mamas that lay awake at night for hours thinking through all the things that went wrong and what to do different tomorrow. To the mama who has blown it and feels like a failure. To the mamas with disobedient children who throw fits in stores that somehow manage to keep composure when everyone else stops and stares. To the mamas up at 5 am trying to get a workout in to stay strong because you are unwilling to miss out on time with your kids…to the mamas who are having an amazing day and feel like you’ve got this…to the mamas who wonder if they’ll make it to lunchtime…to the mamas who spend hours putting together that same puzzle over and over again and can tell that same story with your eyes closed from having read it so many times. To the mama who knows she is soooo not perfect but chooses to continually find her identity not in her failures or her successes…to the taxi cab mamas who spend the majority of your day carting children from one event to another, to the mama who hasn’t left her house in 4 days…

You’re doing a great job. 

Let’s not end it here though…

Is there a mom you know that needs to be encouraged? Is there someone you can think of that is doing an amazing job and needs to be told so? If I could make one request it would be that we keep this going. Let’s not wait for opportunities to speak life to those around us, let’s create them. If you’re reading this and it reminds you of someone you want to encourage as well, then please comment below and write out your own words to the mom you know who needs to be built up…

 

 

meg marie signature w/XO

to all the mamas: you're doing a great job

 

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts on family. Regards

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