Hi there!!!! Let me begin with extending a huge welcome! I’m so excited that you’re here! For those of you who are new here this current blog a spin off from my old blog called One Glass Slipper. I’ve transferred aaaaalmost all of the old content so don’t worry, you haven’t missed much of anything. About a year into blogging I decided to quit and take a break from writing…..
So why’d I end OGS???
Back in college I was dating a guy who broke up with me using the all too infamous “it’s not you it’s me” line. I mean, really, who wants to hear that. So. Lame.
But after closing down One Glass Slipper I found myself thinking of that same line over and over again. On the outside there may not have been anything visibly wrong with it. I’m not sure the little things that drove me nutso about it are things others wouldn’t have been bothered by (like the fact that when you typed in the web address oneglassslipper you have to write a curse word (a$$) in the URL……AND I had to always double and triple check to make sure there were 3 S’s…..silly, I know, but it drove me crazy).
Deep down, though, something more grated on me. And over time I just didn’t want to keep going as I was. I had created a brand I didn’t love.
In the beginning, super early on when I first decided to start blogging, I wanted to give voice to some of the thoughts in my head and create a space where I could just write. As a family we had just come out of a super tough season and I think, looking back, I was sort of a bit depressed. As I read back through some posts I see the sadness and brokenness coming through.
But that depression also affected other areas of blogging too. When I would write I would edit and re-edit and edit four times more…I second guessed almost everything I did, from the smallest decision to the biggest decisions. I continually worried about what people thought and tried to please everyone and everybody. If someone wanted me to write about something, then I would find a way to write about it. If someone didn’t like something, then I’d do away with it.
I’d never blogged before and all of my writings prior to starting blogging had only been for private use in my own journals. However when I began to write publicly I spent ridiculous amounts of time asking for people’s advice. I wanted to know what others thought, but often took their advice so literal and so far that I began to lose sight of my goals. Great people offered their opinions. Lovely people. Some of my favorite people on the planet gave some really great advice. But at the end of the day when all of those people gave different and conflicting advice I was at a loss for what to do. How could I please everyone when no one agreed?
My chosen “theme” didn’t help either. I had attempted to create a brand to speak to the imperfection that we all have but try so hard to hide…but I did that in a way that began to feel more forced. In the beginning it made sense to use my old wedding dress and make it look like a Cinderella dress in a creative way, but after awhile I felt more trapped in that “theme” than free to continue writing about all of the various topics I would wish to cover long term.
Mix into there the fact that I also started homeschooling our little flock of munchkins and, well….I was a hot mess trying to hold it all together or find any desire to keep going.
Here’s the thing, at the end of my life I don’t want to be known as a wannabe Disney princess, or a pastor’s wife, or a mom of five kids or a hair fanatic or a fitness guru. When it’s all said and done and I breathe in my last breath I want to be known as a woman who loves Jesus. I want to follow Him, hear Him, run to Him, see Him, enjoy Him, relate with Him, speak of Him and ultimately I want to know Him face to face. And I want to use all I have and everything I am to point others in His direction too.
But what about the rest of me? Is there room to talk about other things in life that don’t carry as much weight?
Somehow I started believing that if everything I wrote wasn’t all about those deepest parts of life then it was completely meaningless and a waste of my time. Where did that come from? Why would I think that way?
Who told me this lie?
Well, it’s not you. It’s me.
I know, I know. I’m so lame for saying that.
But it’s true.
Truth is I often care far too much about what other people think. It’s like a disease really. And I want to crush it, like cancer, and be cured, but clearly I’m not there yet. Through these past few years and especially these past few months I have really been learning to ask, “Who Am I?” (Did you ever see the movie Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts???)
NOT “who do others want me to be” or “who do others say that I am”…..I’m asking me what it is that makes me….well, me. How am I wired? What do I love? What am I good at? What lights me up? What am I passionate about?
When I close my eyes tight and drown out all of the noise…here’s what I’ve got so far…I’m a normal girl, that loves to make things beautiful. Anything from pain and sorrow to braids and bows I want to find a way to make it lovely. I love all things girly. I love pink and soft grey, off white and rose gold. I love dressing up, and dressing my family up…but I love my sweat pants and our jammies too. I love eating healthy, fitness and working out and I’m learning every day to keep my motives in check as I pursue those goals. I love finding ways to simplify life and love connecting with others. I love soft rain on the windows, writing hand written letters, short fingernails, and small dainty jewelry. I love making things with wood, painting and creating with my hands. I love clothes and fashion, new styles and watching runway shows and reality TV. I love make up and hair products and I never ever ever leave overnight without my hair drier, because I have some wicked frizzy hair if I don’t. I love my family and my husband so much that sometimes I think my heart will beat out of my chest. I love living in CA and love the ocean….and yes, I love Jesus more than all of that combined.
But that last line doesn’t mean there isn’t a place for all of the things I find lovely prior to that last statement. In fact, the more I ask those questions of myself the more I am realizing that it is Him who is beckoning me to do so.
Life does get serious at times. There is a lot that goes wrong and there’s stuff that gets messy. People are sometimes hard to love….heck, I’m hard to love at times too. And there are more days than I’d like to admit when I am in tears because life is “just not working” and I have to start all over again. But I truly believe, through all of the sorrow, heartaches, troubles and worries…through the mundane, the every day and the routine…that we are meant to live life beautifully. When the Bible talks about Jesus coming to this earth, living perfectly and dying in our place for our sins He says He did so to give us life and life to the fullest!!! He gave us ALL things to enjoy…for our joy, the good of others, and to His glory!
All of that to say I’m feeling more free than ever! Free to live! Free to enjoy how I’m wired. Free to stop comparing myself to others, and free to stop overthinking it all for cryin’ out loud! I’m free to dream, free to love, free to create, and free to be just plain ‘ole me. And guess what…so are you!!!!
(And for all you men out there, stop using that lame break up line!)
****To celebrate my blog birthday day I’ve partnered with some of my faaaavorite stores and shop owners to do some amazing giveaways!!!! Click HERE for more info!
A sweet friend of mine, Shirley, owner and curator over at Five Arrows Jewelry, contacted me this week for a collab in regards to this post and my new blog launch! We brainstormed together to come up with the wording and then she went to work with her creative jewelry mind and came up with this amazingly lovely design! I absolutely LOVE supporting small business owners, especially ones that create and craft with intention. I thought she did such an incredible job capturing in art what my heart longs to communicate.
To get one of these necklaces click on the photos or go to www.fivearrowsjewelry.etsy.com
Be sure to use code: megmarie17 to get FREE SHIPPING on your order!