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an open letter to a critic & 9 reasons I responded

Speaking: Scottsdale Bible Church Womens’ Retreat | March 2019

Perceived Perfection

what forgiveness is…and what it isn’t

15 confessions from a pastor’s wife

This topic has come up lately and I’m genuinely

This topic has come up lately and I’m genuinely interested to hear what you all think: were Job’s friends correct to assume that Job was suffering because of sin?

Meaning, if you see someone hurting, going through a hard time, enduring a tough season or struggling through a difficult stretch is it safe to assume they are simply getting what they deserve?

Put as simply as possible: Does God pay people back for the wrongs they commit?

I have my own thoughts on this, but I’m also wanting to open this discussion to you all as well...if you’d be willing to participate....I would genuinely love to hear your thoughts...

Ice skating day!!! This lil nugget cannot get enou

Ice skating day!!! This lil nugget cannot get enough!!!

So amazing watching Corban come alive on the ice. (That’s him there in the back skating circles around the rest of us!) I’ll post a video in my stories of him later today! Still need to update you all on what’s been happening in regards to his health—but I kinda think this mountain air has been refreshing for him.

Matt and I watched my brothers kids for a couple of days and we took all 10 kids to skate!!! Wish I would have filmed the glances from curious onlookers when we piled out of the “huge white bus!” 🚌

I’m curious...do you think it’s harder to learn to roller skate or ice skate?! ✨💫

This place was already amazing...and then my broth

This place was already amazing...and then my brother and his family showed up and we got another 8 inches of snow...and now it’s absolutely magical! ✨💫

A friend texted me last night to ask how we are re

A friend texted me last night to ask how we are really doing.

I had to think for just a sec, because this wasn’t the kind of friend that wants my surface level answer. She knows me, loves me, and can see right through me even in my most raw places.

This is what I sent back to her and I hope it encourages you as it has me:

“Honestly friend, you know so much of our story. Ever since we started trying to have Kate life hasn’t been “easy”. It’s been one season after the next...and sometimes (often) way more than we could handle. It DOES feel heavy and at times terrifying...and sometimes frustrating...but I truly feel that there’s not a lot that’s different from other seasons we’ve been in. So many have been tough.

The difference, though, is I think there may be growth I didn’t know was there...

Like Paul says, he has learned the secret in life, to be content in all things—whether he has much or whether he has little, in sleepless nights (ME lately) and through restful days...whether he has been given much or has great need...he learned the gift of contentment.

We have an absolute mess to go home to. But...even with life undone I know that the Lord will meet me and carry me through each moment as they come.

There’s a lot in being uprooted and trying to navigate new shopping patterns, new meal plans, new recipes with new ingredients that makes me feel like at any point I will miss a step and “kill him” like his doctor has repeatedly told me. It’s so insanely scary. But I also know He has led us so far, He loves me, and Corban, and I can trust He will redirect us, correct us and help us go a different way should we need to.

I feel moments of overwhelm but they are passing...I feel moments of great fear, but they pass too. I see now more and more how critical it is to take my thoughts captive.

It doesn’t mean it’s easy, simple or without fear, but it does mean I feel like I’m responding differently, and that secret isn’t so much of a secret any more...”

If you’re in a broken, undone place too I want you to know this secret isn’t actually a secret at all. It’s for you too, as much as it is me, or Paul for that matter.

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This topic has come up lately and I’m genuinely

This topic has come up lately and I’m genuinely interested to hear what you all think: were Job’s friends correct to assume that Job was suffering because of sin?

Meaning, if you see someone hurting, going through a hard time, enduring a tough season or struggling through a difficult stretch is it safe to assume they are simply getting what they deserve?

Put as simply as possible: Does God pay people back for the wrongs they commit?

I have my own thoughts on this, but I’m also wanting to open this discussion to you all as well...if you’d be willing to participate....I would genuinely love to hear your thoughts...

Ice skating day!!! This lil nugget cannot get enou

Ice skating day!!! This lil nugget cannot get enough!!!

So amazing watching Corban come alive on the ice. (That’s him there in the back skating circles around the rest of us!) I’ll post a video in my stories of him later today! Still need to update you all on what’s been happening in regards to his health—but I kinda think this mountain air has been refreshing for him.

Matt and I watched my brothers kids for a couple of days and we took all 10 kids to skate!!! Wish I would have filmed the glances from curious onlookers when we piled out of the “huge white bus!” 🚌

I’m curious...do you think it’s harder to learn to roller skate or ice skate?! ✨💫

This place was already amazing...and then my broth

This place was already amazing...and then my brother and his family showed up and we got another 8 inches of snow...and now it’s absolutely magical! ✨💫

A friend texted me last night to ask how we are re

A friend texted me last night to ask how we are really doing.

I had to think for just a sec, because this wasn’t the kind of friend that wants my surface level answer. She knows me, loves me, and can see right through me even in my most raw places.

This is what I sent back to her and I hope it encourages you as it has me:

“Honestly friend, you know so much of our story. Ever since we started trying to have Kate life hasn’t been “easy”. It’s been one season after the next...and sometimes (often) way more than we could handle. It DOES feel heavy and at times terrifying...and sometimes frustrating...but I truly feel that there’s not a lot that’s different from other seasons we’ve been in. So many have been tough.

The difference, though, is I think there may be growth I didn’t know was there...

Like Paul says, he has learned the secret in life, to be content in all things—whether he has much or whether he has little, in sleepless nights (ME lately) and through restful days...whether he has been given much or has great need...he learned the gift of contentment.

We have an absolute mess to go home to. But...even with life undone I know that the Lord will meet me and carry me through each moment as they come.

There’s a lot in being uprooted and trying to navigate new shopping patterns, new meal plans, new recipes with new ingredients that makes me feel like at any point I will miss a step and “kill him” like his doctor has repeatedly told me. It’s so insanely scary. But I also know He has led us so far, He loves me, and Corban, and I can trust He will redirect us, correct us and help us go a different way should we need to.

I feel moments of overwhelm but they are passing...I feel moments of great fear, but they pass too. I see now more and more how critical it is to take my thoughts captive.

It doesn’t mean it’s easy, simple or without fear, but it does mean I feel like I’m responding differently, and that secret isn’t so much of a secret any more...”

If you’re in a broken, undone place too I want you to know this secret isn’t actually a secret at all. It’s for you too, as much as it is me, or Paul for that matter.

follow @megwallace

come join us

@megmariewallace

In the past two months we have had two family memb

In the past two months we have had two family members pass away. Both were men of faith who lived simple, yet profoundly impactful, lives. They loved their wives, led their families and have left lasting legacies for generations to come. ⁣
⁣
There’s nothing quite like death that can help us remember to truly live. The short time we have can either be spent in frivolous ways filling our days with the meaningless, and our time with the worthless…or we can take a serious look at what’s most important, aim there, and keep the “whole” in perspective. ⁣
⁣
As I listened to the words spoken at both funerals it was clear that both men intended and succeeded at loving well. When the list of “accomplishments” were read off, none carried more weight than loving others more than themselves. ⁣
⁣
My great uncle, the only “grandfather” I’ve known on my fathers side, was interviewed by my sister two years ago at the age of 96. He was asked all about his days as a child, service in the military, raising his family, the many jobs he held and amazing places he lived…but at the end she asked him what he wanted to be remembered for the most: “that I loved well” was his answer. ⁣
⁣
This morning I woke up at 3am—my mind filled with all that needs to get done, the kids I need to educate, the places I need to be, my two hands that feel inadequate to carry the load…the areas I feel I’m failing. I came downstairs, lit a fire and sat in the dark…rolling over in my mind all of these “pressing tasks”…and then I remembered...⁣
⁣
“…that I loved well…”⁣
⁣
Friends, if today is a day you feel bogged down by a never ending to-do list and are feeling like you are behind before you even begin, I cannot encourage you enough to reset your heart and mind once more. When it’s all said and done it won’t be what we accomplish but how well we love that will truly last beyond our final breath. Who can you serve today? Who can you love…⁣
⁣
And...these bonnets have become an absolute favorite. There’s something so sweet about them that make me feel like we were meant to live in the country…which is saying at lot for this Cali-loving girl!⁣
⁣
*Use code MEGMARIE for 10% off your order @carolasbluebonnet

A friend sent me these verses today. She said she

A friend sent me these verses today. She said she actually wrote them out last spring, but they are just as true today as they were then. I hope they encourage you too. I know this election has caused so much unrest and uncertainty. And yet we still know...⁣
⁣
God is still in control 😊 (Psalm 103:19)⁣
He is not surprised by what is happening today. ⁣
No purpose of His can be thwarted (Job 42:2)⁣
He still loves you (John 3:16)⁣
He knows the plans He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11)⁣
He didn’t give you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7)⁣
He wants you to CALL Him (Jeremiah 33:3)⁣
And He wants you to cast your anxiety on Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7)⁣
⁣
And yes, we both managed to get out and vote together yesterday! My sweet Quinn tried to eat my “I voted” sticker, so no proof photo for me this year 🤪😝

Next spring will be 20 years married. Want to know

Next spring will be 20 years married. Want to know our secret?⁣
⁣
When Matt and I went through marriage counseling I remember the man shared with us the term “work.” He said, “Marriage. Is. Work.” ⁣
⁣
If I’m honest I really didn’t like the sound of that. Inwardly I huffed, blew him off and rolled my eyes. I thought, well that must be for couples that don’t love each other like we do. ⁣
⁣
Later that night we were talking about that term “work.” I said something incredibly wise like, “Well, I just don’t think when you’re really in love marriage could ever be looked at as work. I mean, not HARD work anyway. I think marriage requires the kind of work that will be fun.”⁣
⁣
What I wouldn’t give to time travel and sit the “now” me in the backseat to eavesdrop on the “21 year old” me give such an amazing comedy show.⁣
⁣
The reality 19 years in: marriage is without a doubt hard work. And I’d even say there are times it’s more than work. Sometimes it downright feels like suffering. That’s right, suffering.⁣
⁣
We fight over dumb things, we miscommunicate over lame stuff, we can live in the same space and yet feel utterly alone. We are selfish, become frustrated, and annoy one another. ⁣
⁣
But here’s the magic we know now, the secret sauce: Marriage isn’t meant to be easy, and that’s no longer our aim. ⁣
⁣
Marriage is meant to point us to Jesus. It’s meant to sanctify us both.⁣
⁣
We are continually learning to say sorry, to repent and reconcile with one another. We must humble ourselves, and actively consider one anothers’ needs above our own.⁣
⁣
So you want to know our secret? Neither of us wastes any time now hoping for marriage to be easy. In fact, it’s the opposite. We welcome the work. The discomfort and difficulty that comes when two selfish people seek to serve the other first reminds us of our ever present need for Christ and His ever unfinished work in drawing toward Himself and sanctifying us both.

I’d love to hear, what’s one thing you believed before you were married you would now see as crazy?

Today is National Infant Loss Day and I cannot say

Today is National Infant Loss Day and I cannot say enough about how thankful I am for a day that honors the lives lost to mamas all over the world.

For a long time this seemed to be a taboo subject and many women, including myself, suffered alone.

For those of you who are new around here this was our story, twice over, and I will never forget the pain those losses were, there just aren’t words.

Grief and loss are an interesting thing. If we don’t let ourselves feel, and if we refuse to go to those darkest of places, to voice the hurt, the struggle, the pain, we just cannot heal. The pain will still be there, and it will be dealt with one way or another, but it’ll bubble up when we least expect it.

I think we believe it’s easier to just stuff the hard things away, or numb ourselves or distract and keep ourselves busy with lesser things. We embrace the lie if we could just avoid “going there” we can find peace once again.

But that’s just not the way life works.

God asks us to bring it to Him. Just like the raw ugly cry with the life long best friend we can hang out with when we aren’t showered and have day 4 unwashed hair...God asks us to be brutally honest with Him in those vulnerable broken places. He desires to meet with us and His aim is to heal.

You see He knows a little something about life, and suffering, and loss. He knows and can relate, and He offers us the kind of comfort no other thing or person or temporary fix ever could. Even though we hurt over the far-too-soon-goodbyes of our precious little ones, He wants to remind us there is nothing in this world that will satisfy the desires of our heart, or soothe the deep wounds, or heal the broken bones like Christ.

If you’ve lost a baby, or two, or more...run to Him. I’m His presence is peace, comfort and fullness of joy. He is everything you need and more.

#infancylossawareness #youarentalone #healonesatisfies

I want you to have courage to continue on, even wi

I want you to have courage to continue on, even with the fear of being rejected.⁣
⁣
Let me tell you a little story…⁣
A long time ago I made a rash decision to respond in a way that was not loving. I wrote my feelings out and went on. In my mind I was “done” and more than justified to have said what I did.⁣
⁣
Then…time. Time has the ability to bring healing, to help us forget and also to convict. I soon realized my error. ⁣
⁣
But it was too late. Hurtful words were retuned and the wrecking ball was set in motion. ⁣
⁣
Relationships are messy sometimes. We are people, interacting with people, who are complex, filled with emotions, hormones, feelings, & desires. ⁣
⁣
At the end of the day I have to take 100% responsibility for my actions. ⁣
⁣
But can I be brutally honest here? One of my biggest fears in life is being rejected for who I am at my worst. What if, when all the fronts are dropped, I’m just not enough?⁣
⁣
Since this instance, I admittedly have felt defeated. I’ve let the lies of failure and rejection seep poison into my soul. Its made me quiet and reflective. ⁣
⁣
I’ve used the time to read, pray, and have battled through all of the struggles in resetting my heart. ⁣
⁣
Here’s what I know now…⁣
✨I am not defined by my worst moments. God, through the perfection of Jesus, gives us HIS righteousness. Salvation comes through faith alone not by works.⁣
✨I was never created to be perfect. I was, however, created to be predictable. WHEN, not if, I get it wrong, I am to handle that with repentance, trusting in the sanctification of Jesus to continue to grow me through all things, including my failures and triumphs.⁣
✨I am not to walk in fear. Because perfect love casts out all fear. And Jesus IS perfect love.⁣
⁣
And that’s exactly what I want to say to you: ⁣
Yes, there is risk that the people you love will reject you. ⁣
And no, not everyone will like you. ⁣
And yes, you will fail. ⁣
⁣
BUT..you are FULLY known and FULLY loved EXACTLY as you are by the One who knows every bit of your imperfection.⁣
⁣
So have the courage today to step forward once more, even if you’re afraid of rejection, and keep looking to Jesus for your perfection. There is none like Him.

Its been a long week since I’ve posted anything

Its been a long week since I’ve posted anything here! My computer broke and my phone screen is cracked! I guess I just get so busy living our actual lives I forget to post here on our IG lives!⁣
⁣
We’ve been living the fullness of all of life right now, with all things homeschooling, babies, exercise, football and ballet...coming up with new rhythms and routines and ways to make life work. ⁣
⁣
And if I’m honest it’s not been easy! 🙈 Some days I feel things work and are finally coming together, and others I absolutely know they don’t, and I’ll have to start again with a new plan to reset. ⁣
⁣
Are you guys like me??? Do you all ever joke, but then are also really quite serious, that the “jobs” we have as mamas are the work of at least 4 different people, minimum!?! ⁣
⁣
Matt and I were talking the other day about this season and all it contains, and I used the words “invisible,” (does anyone notice?) “inadequate” (I don’t have what it takes) and “imperfect” (I didn’t handle that well) when describing how I have felt lately. ⁣
⁣
But here’s one thing I do know...our feelings are super unhelpful at times. ⁣
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When we only trust in how we feel, and we don’t pass those feelings through a grid of truth it’s so easy to become overwhelmed and discouraged.⁣
⁣
I wanted to share a bit of encouragement for any fellow mamas out there feeling like this fall has been a huge kick in the pants...⁣
⁣
God promises we are loved fully and wholly and it’s not based off of any ability to accomplish all the things. ⁣
⁣
God promises He has provided, and even though we might not feel it He assures us we already have all we need for life and godliness—including every one of the fruits of the Spirit. ⁣
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And God promises we are seen, not invisible at all to Him, and that He values us even more than the birds in the air.⁣
⁣
I hope this can serve as a reminder for even just one mama, to remind your feelings you will no longer entertain their overly loud lies. ⁣
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Rest in Gods promises, it is there where we get to experience His presence. Happy Tuesday everyone!⁣
⁣
We are in full fall mode, but I’m already seeing everything out for Xmas!!! Lol!!! Who is already thinking Christmas?⁣

It’s national daughters day?! How did I not know

It’s national daughters day?! How did I not know? Oh what an amazing day to celebrate! Never in a million years would I have imagined I would have the honor of raising not only one daughter but THREE lovely daughters? (And if you’re count Willow bug that makes four! 🐶) My girls are the apples of my eye and I cannot begin to explain how humbled I am to serve and mother them.⁣
⁣
Just this past week, though, I was walking another mama through how to grieve with someone who has just lost a baby. I had trouble getting the words out as my throat was closing up. I can’t ever take a mama “there” unless I allow myself to go back to those places where my heart felt like it was being ripped out. I have to allow myself to feel again what our losses were in order to give sound advice or counsel to others.⁣
⁣
And I’ll say this...there are some pains too deep to express with any amount of words...and some joys too rich to be able to express. And often times they go hand in hand, simultaneously, like two pedals on a bike.⁣
⁣
If you neglect one, the other might not work properly. Grief and sorrow, joy and celebration are both necessary for the human heart to carryon. ⁣
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If you’re a mama celebrating today the daughters you hold, raise and parent I celebrate with you. It’s an absolute miracle any of us have been given the undeserved privilege to raise these precious souls. Let’s not ever take for granted what we have been gifted. ⁣
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If you’re a mama grieving today, either a baby lost, a child no longer, or a baby longed for I grieve with you. There is nothing apart from the love of Jesus that can quench the pain of an empty womb or empty arms.⁣
⁣
For all the mamas, and mamas yet to be...while I do want to give honor to this day and what it represents, I also want to remind you of #thematteringthings in that we need to always find our true hope, our true joy and our true identities not in motherhood but in Christ. He alone satisfies the desires of our hearts. Let’s make sure to worship the Giver, not just the gifts He is so gracious to give. The Lord gives and the Lord takes...𝗕𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗗 be HIS NAME!

It would mean the world to me if you’d tag a friend that needs to hear this. ✨✨

A few years back Matt was given a book written by

A few years back Matt was given a book written by a pastor for pastors. Never before has he been so moved by another writer. He was so deeply impacted by the authors heart that he contacted the man to ask if he could speak with him. That phone call turned into a friendship, one that continues to breathe life into my husband as he continues to serve the church today.⁣
⁣
My husband knows me well and knew I’d love it too, and while it is intended for pastors and those in ministry I found it extremely helpful and beneficial for my life as a mother. Its on my top 5 favorite books I’ve ever read.⁣
⁣
Since then, Matt has continued to recommend and gift this book to friends, family members and fellow pastors. Even the other leaders at our local church have built and developed foundational markers and identities for our staff and people based off this book. ⁣
⁣
One of the main phrases Matt and I love, and you may remember from some of my older posts, is the idea the “mattering things” in life. The mattering things are to love God and love others and most often requires us to continue being faithful in “mostly overlooked places over long periods of time.” ⁣
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It is in the ordinary, great things happen. ⁣
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“Jesus made a habit of giving his time to unknown, broken people in out of the way places, overlooked by the world, but known and delighted in by Him.” -Zack Eswine ⁣
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Moving forward for me here online, I want this to be clear. While I did not come up with the term “the mattering things” it is going to be how I will continue to describe what I’m all about here in these little spaces. I will still talk about motherhood, and yes I do love fitness and I’m all about having a conversation about the latest trends in lashes, but all of those things will fit under this umbrella of keeping first things first…and chasing, living for, encouraging you in and resting in the mattering things of life. ⁣
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Hi, I’m Meg. I’m always going to be a work in progress, but I want my life to be about what matters most. Will you join me in pursuing #thematteringthings?

follow @megwallace

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